Two years ago in April a sweet little lady told my mom and I "Honey, God Makes No Mistakes" when she asked us why we were crying at a restaurant in Atlanta. We had just visited my sister and brother-in-law in the hospital where they were holding their precious baby boy that had been born stillborn at 32 weeks. That was one of the hardest days of our lives. My heart broke for her so much. But those words "God Makes No Mistakes" seemed to take some of the pain away.
Well now its my turn and those words are helping me get through this bumpy road that I'm currently traveling down. I am creating this blog to help keep my family and friends updated on my day to day progress. But I hope it is therapy for me too. Here is my story.
Sometime in the beginning of January (not sure of the exact date), I found a lump in my breast. I was in the shower, I think when I felt it. No I did not do self breast exams. I never knew what to look for, their not smooth you know! Anyway I was a little alarmed and told my husband that night. He said you better get it checked out. A few days later I told my mom and sister, (both are nurses), but I thought it had went away so we didn't make a big deal out of it.
Well I kept checking and I could find it when I laid down but not when I stood up. It felt really large to me about the size of a nickel or larger. One day I casually told my mom, "My lump is still there." She nearly freaked out, "What do you mean I thought it went away?" She had me immediately get an appointment with the gyno. I went on February 2. I seen a new Dr that I had never seen before and she was sooo sweet. She checked it out and said it was probably just a lymph node, I'm only 30 and probably had nothing to worry about. But she would send me for an ultrasound and mammogram just to ease my mind.
I had my mammo and ultrasound the following week on February 9. That was an experience. If you have never had a mammo I don't want to scare you, but boy they are no fun. Especially if you don't have very much "up top"!! So the mammo and ultrasound both showed up the tumor, not one but two. They were attached. The radiologist decided said she would like to do a biopsy to rule out cancer. She again was pretty confident that there was nothing to worry about but better be safe than sorry.
I had my biopsy on February 14, Valentine's Day. What a way to spend the day of romance!! My mom and husband went with me and took me out to a nice lunch afterwards:) The biopsy was uncomfortable but not nearly as bad as I expected. The radiologist said she would call with the results on Thursday afternoon or Friday morning.
Thursday around 11:30 I got the phone call while sitting at my desk at work. "Mrs. Cox this is Dr. Grover, I'm sorry to tell you this but it's cancer." After that I heard "laaa laaaa laaa, you need a MRI and to see a surgeon, I'm sorry." I dropped the phone and ran for the bathroom. My very sweet coworker, Betty a breast cancer survivor followed and hugged me while I cried for what seemed like an hour. She was wonderful, I know God put me in that job beside of her for that phone call!!
I then had to make the calls to my husband and my mom. That was so hard. I went home and hugged my husband, my parents came and we all sat and cried and hugged and cried some more. The kids came home from school and we had to tell them. That by far was the hardest part! They were very upset, but seemed to take it pretty good. But they are hurting far more than I will ever know.
I have to remember God Makes No Mistakes. This is in his plan and it will all work out okay. We are going to kick cancers butt!!!!