Monday, February 27, 2012

Feeling Blessed!

Today I received so many wonderful gifts. I'm completely overwhelmed by the love and generosity of so many people. If I learn nothing else from this illness I will learn how to be there for others when they are going through a tough time.

I'm humbled by seeing that so many people have signed up to bring food to my family. I had two families drop off bags of groceries for us today and money. We feel so very blessed and a little undeserving of everything.

Thank you to everyone. You will never know what an impact you have on me and my family. My children are learning life lessons each day of this journey. My hope is they will know how to treat people and be there for others!

I go tomorrow morning at 9 to the hospital to have the lymph node biopsied and more ultra sounds to make sure nothing has changed and to check out my right breast. After that I go to meet with the oncologist at 12:30. I hope we can make it to the oncologist on time!! I'm going to try to get a CT scan scheduled because I have been having a lot of back pain and want to make sure it hasn't spread to anywhere else. Please continue pray for me and my family!!!

God Bless!


Sunday, February 26, 2012

Hurry Up and Wait!!

Friday started as such a great day. My mom and I had plans to meet my wonderful aunt Brenda in Floyd at Schoolhouse Fabrics and shop for curtain fabric for my living room and just have a girls day. No doctor appointments were scheduled.

I received a call around 10 am from my surgeons office saying he wanted me to see the plastic surgeon and they could see me today at 1:00. I was kind of suprised and said no not today. Then my mom said you better take that appointment. So I did call back and get it. As soon as I hung up the phone the surgeon called. He was actually out of the office doing some kind of training and called me to let me know my MRI results.

It seems there is another lump in my breast, this makes three in my left breast. The third one is deeper in the tissue, not sure what that means yet. This means I will have to have a mastectomy on this side. The MRI also showed fibrocistic changes in my right breast that they wanted to check further with ultra sound. It also showed an enlarged lymph node under my left arm that needs to biopsied this week. My dr seems to think this was just enlarged as a reaction to the first biopsy. I'm praying he's right.

So I have decided to have a double mastectomy. If I'm getting one removed I my as well remove both and not have the worries. The plastic surgeon is great. He said we can have the reconstruction done at the same time as the surgery or later on. I have opted for the same time because it will only be one surgery and one healing time. This surgery really scares me and I know it will be so different. Travis and I are really trying to laugh about it. He said I can't pick out new ones without him!!! He has to approve...haha!

I will meet the oncologist Dr. Goldschmidt (sp) on Tuesday. From then I guess I will have the ultrasound and biopsy of the lymph one day this week. My surgeon is out of town this week, but I hope that the surgery will be scheduled for the following week. I'm ready to get this cancer out of me so I can start healing.

Today I was so humbled. I received gifts of money, cards, food and lots of paper products!!! Some money and cards came from people I have never met. There are lots of wonderful people out there that are showing how much they love and care. God is so good. I have to remember to honor him and give him the glory and remember that there will be people that fail me but he never will!

I have had pastors that I have never met call me just to pray over the phone!!! This has meant so much to me and I thank these men and their churches for everything. The devil likes to magnify the bad when we should be focused on the good.

I will keep you all updated as I find out. For now I will hurry up and wait!!!

Thank you all for the prayers and support. You will never know what it means.

Love you all,


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

What Kind of Cancer Is It?

So when the dr told me I had cancer I went blank and couldn't ask any questions. I called back that evening when I was home and had got a little more composure. I had my mom talk to the nurse to find out the exact type. She said it was Invasive Ductal Carcenoma Grade 3. I got kind of confused and told a few people it was stage 3. So if you are reading this and thought it was stage 3 its not, its grade 3 (sorry for any confusion, don't know where my head was...haha). I do not know what stage it is yet. But I do know that there are 3 grades with 3 being the most aggressive.

I met with the surgeon on Friday the 16th. He seems to be very smart and genuinely concerned. He said that the tumor was small, right at one centimeter, so hopefully no lymph node involvement. He told me I would defiantly have to have chemo. I'm not looking forward to that at all. He said before we could plan any surgery that I need to have genetic testing to find out if I'm a carrier of the breast cancer gene. I met with her yesterday she was great, I should receive the results in two weeks.

I had to go for my MRI on Monday and it was unsuccessful. The dye that they use did not light up like its supposed to, so I had to go back and endure that lovely thing again today. I should find out those results in a few days.

I did learn yesterday that it is triple negative. This means that the cancer does not respond to hormone therapy so it is treated differently. If my genetic testing shows that I carry the cancer gene I will defiantly have a double mastectomy. If I do not have the gene it is my decision whether I want the mastectomy or lumpectomy. I have a lot to think about and pray about. I have always said that I would just get them old things removed and get me a brand new set of big ones. But its a little easier said than done. I know God will help me make the right decision.

The next few days I have no dr appts or any plans other than sitting back with my feet up and relaxing. I will meet with the oncologist next Tuesday on the 28th. I'm trying to keep my head up and stay strong. I know this will be a long bumpy road but I'm ready for the ride....I think!!!

Though I walk in the midst of trouble,You will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me. Psalm 138:7

God Makes No Mistakes!

Two years ago in April a sweet little lady told my mom and I "Honey, God Makes No Mistakes" when she asked us why we were crying at a restaurant in Atlanta. We had just visited my sister and brother-in-law in the hospital where they were holding their precious baby boy that had been born stillborn at 32 weeks. That was one of the hardest days of our lives. My heart broke for her so much. But those words "God Makes No Mistakes" seemed to take some of the pain away.

Well now its my turn and those words are helping me get through this bumpy road that I'm currently traveling down. I am creating this blog to help keep my family and friends updated on my day to day progress. But I hope it is therapy for me too. Here is my story.

Sometime in the beginning of January (not sure of the exact date), I found a lump in my breast. I was in the shower, I think when I felt it. No I did not do self breast exams. I never knew what to look for, their not smooth you know! Anyway I was a little alarmed and told my husband that night. He said you better get it checked out. A few days later I told my mom and sister, (both are nurses), but I thought it had went away so we didn't make a big deal out of it.

Well I kept checking and I could find it when I laid down but not when I stood up. It felt really large to me about the size of a nickel or larger. One day I casually told my mom, "My lump is still there." She nearly freaked out, "What do you mean I thought it went away?" She had me immediately get an appointment with the gyno. I went on February 2. I seen a new Dr that I had never seen before and she was sooo sweet. She checked it out and said it was probably just a lymph node, I'm only 30 and probably had nothing to worry about. But she would send me for an ultrasound and mammogram just to ease my mind.

I had my mammo and ultrasound the following week on February 9. That was an experience. If you have never had a mammo I don't want to scare you, but boy they are no fun. Especially if you don't have very much "up top"!! So the mammo and ultrasound both showed up the tumor, not one but two. They were attached. The radiologist decided said she would like to do a biopsy to rule out cancer. She again was pretty confident that there was nothing to worry about but better be safe than sorry.

I had my biopsy on February 14, Valentine's Day. What a way to spend the day of romance!! My mom and husband went with me and took me out to a nice lunch afterwards:) The biopsy was uncomfortable but not nearly as bad as I expected. The radiologist said she would call with the results on Thursday afternoon or Friday morning.

Thursday around 11:30 I got the phone call while sitting at my desk at work. "Mrs. Cox this is Dr. Grover, I'm sorry to tell you this but it's cancer." After that I heard "laaa laaaa laaa, you need a MRI and to see a surgeon, I'm sorry." I dropped the phone and ran for the bathroom. My very sweet coworker, Betty a breast cancer survivor followed and hugged me while I cried for what seemed like an hour. She was wonderful, I know God put me in that job beside of her for that phone call!!

I then had to make the calls to my husband and my mom. That was so hard. I went home and hugged my husband, my parents came and we all sat and cried and hugged and cried some more. The kids came home from school and we had to tell them. That by far was the hardest part! They were very upset, but seemed to take it pretty good. But they are hurting far more than I will ever know.

I have to remember God Makes No Mistakes. This is in his plan and it will all work out okay. We are going to kick cancers butt!!!!